Episode Transcript
UYL Podcast - UnFuck Your Life and the Art of Self-Talk
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello everyone. This is Lisa and welcome to another episode of Un-fuck Your Life. I just got done co-facilitating a self-hypnosis workshop. Unstoppable. And the really cool thing that there were people from all, all walks of life that were attending this self-hypnosis, and myself and AJ Pueden were co-facilitating it and I realized that this, how do you talk to yourself, the art of self-talk un-fucking your life and self-talk. It's a global thing. It's a thing that a lot of people struggle with, would like to know more about what are the perfect words to use. Long time ago, when I was a teenage girl back in the eighties, I loved.
Springfield, did any of you guys ever have some artists that you thought was like the bees knees? Rick Springfield was on General Hospital and he was a rockstar and he came to Madison shortly after I had first moved there when I was 16 years old, and he had this song called How Do You Talk to Girls?
And as you listen to that, I can't exactly repeat all of the words in the song right now, but as you listen to this song, it's that, he sees a girl, he thinks the girl is really cute, some other guy moves in and the girl follows him to the dance floor. Ha has a conversation with him and Rick Springfield.
Instead of being, darn, I lost the girl in the How do You Attack to Girls song was like, wow. What did. Guys say, cuz so many of us get caught up sometimes on the exact right word, even naming this podcast, I named this podcast Unfuck Your Life because it's so what I wanted to call it, I couldn't not call it this when I was a little girl, I was not allowed to swear.
And the F word. Are you kidding me? That word completely verboten. I would've had my mouth more than washed out with soap, a nice big spanking and set into my room without dinner. That's what it was. And when I look at the art of self-talk and unfucking our mindset, we've been talking a lot about mindset lately.
So in this song and how do you talk to girls, he's. Going off, how do you talk to girls? What's a poor boy to do? I wanna know what he said. Have you ever felt that way? That you just wanted to know at the exact right moment, the exact right words to say I'm gonna, we're gonna dialogue about this right now, so if you have a moment, grab a pen, grab some paper, because guess.
a lot of other coaches, because I've trained with a lot of them. I've worked with a lot of them. It's not all of them, but a lot of them will tell you, use this word, not that word, use this, say this, not that. That sort of thing. And they get all caught up in the words that you use as opposed to. Energy with which you use them.
I was reading a book a Mother Teresa had written a long time ago, or somebody had taken a lot of her writings and written it down. I can't remember exactly which way it went, and she said that anything could be said when it was said with the energy of love. Can be said when it comes from the energy of love.
So exactly what does that mean, that anything can be said? Does that mean that you can go up to somebody and curse them out and that kind of thing? If you can curse somebody out and feel nothing but love for them and convey that through every poor of your being, then absolutely. Absolutely.
So let's talk about the self-talk that's going on inside of your beautiful head, in your gorgeous body. If your self-talk was anything like the self-talk that I used to have running through my head 24 7, never a day off, 365, 366 days a year. , it would've been, oh, you're so fat. Oh, you're so stupid. Why can't you just do this?
Why can't you? Gosh, if you could just drop five pounds, you could just drop 10 pounds. Or if you just knew the answer, if you had more experience, and it was just constant. It was just constant in my brain because that was the way I had been entrained to talk to myself. That's what people all around me said.
People that I was re related to and things like that. Can any of you relate? I'm not saying that it was all bad, because it certainly wasn't. There were lots of fun things. However, I was never taught how to think about myself. It was always, why do you have so much acne, your hair's in your face, go exercise.
Go do this kind of thing, and being just okay. Being just okay sitting there. No one else in the. does being there in a moment, because it's not the words that you use, it's the energy with which you use them, and how do you get that energy in which you use them? Let me ask you this. Is there anyone that you admire?
Is there somebody that you think, wow, she's got it all together. He's got it all together. Is there someone that you just love the words, whether they're the words you hear from them in a movie, maybe on some talk show, maybe it's a singer and you just love the words. You love the vibration, you love to sing it.
I used to love to sing Quiet Riot all the time because the music was just fun. I engage with the energy of the fun of it. Do you ever have songs like that you just, ah or movies that you watch? Maybe they're violent, maybe they're scary, however, there is an energy to them. There is a confidence that exudes from the characters.
that you would like to have more of. That's what you tune into if there's the fake it till you make it. And I never quite liked that, even though essentially that's what it is. I just didn't fake it till you make it. I. It's all about the authenticity here. And I know once upon a time I would've said no, I can't get a guy, or No, I can't think this about myself, or, no, I can't think of that about myself.
It was always really easy for me to reframe for other people. That's why I became a coach. That's why I became a hypnotist, because I can so see it in other people. And sometimes for myself, until I trained myself into this, I wasn't able to. It. And so what it really is that little space that becomes the big space, and it starts with your breath.
It begins with your breath. And as you slow down a little bit because you've taken that breath, and what is. That you would've liked to have heard from a mentor, from your parents, from your best friends, maybe you did hear them. What was it that you would, how would you say it to someone else child that you were trying to inspire, that you were seeking to inspire a baby that you wanted to talk?
What would you say? How would you say it? Chances are, if there isn't a smile on your face, there is a smile in your voice and what that transcends to. Is there some love in your voice? There's some feeling in your voice. Have you recognized how my voice has changed throughout this podcast? Yes. I'm very bouncy and lively and all that kind of stuff.
I also can be very quiet and very still. So as you're learning this art of self-talk and maybe you've got a sentence, I hate my. and you wanna write that and you wanna say that, and it's a feeling that comes and you wish that it wasn't true and you wish that you went in, say it. However, it just keeps coming out.
There is body shaming and fat shaming and all kinds of shit like that going on worldwide to people all the time. People, we see it all the time in in, in magazines. Starlets being fat chained are actresses. Lizzo, the gorgeous, phenomenal. Lizzo has people saying shit about her, and that woman owns her body, her shape, her confidence, her excellence, and so will you.
because you take a phrase like, I hate my body, and you start asking your self questions. If I wasn't so busy hating my body, what might I think? Instead, I wonder how, if it's even possible to change my body size, just change my body shape. Just stick with me as we go with this. Because we have an acro, we have an affirmation that would say, I love and appreciate my beautiful bodacious body.
Abso fucking lutely. That's where you're going. And that is your affirmation. So now what comes up around that? Yeah. Right. No, but, and this and that. If only. Arms were a little bit thinner. I could absolutely love my beautiful bodacious body. If only my belly didn't jiggle when I walked. I could absolutely love my beautiful bodacious body.
And so you just let your tongue. Your energy play with that beautiful bodacious body. It's that connection. Lots of times you are more than able to make that connection with other people. And some of the times you make that connection with yourself. If you made a really great meal for your friends or your family, or you got that one outfit and you put it on and your hair just turned out right, and your makeup just turned out right and you were just maybe it's an anniversary, maybe it's a wedding day. Maybe it's a celebration of something going on in the lives of your children or something that occurred at work. We have many of these moments. We all have them regardless of our size, regardless of the inner critic, regardless of the self-talk that goes on in the head.
And so we start stringing those together. There was this video that I saw on TikTok, and it was a woman in her sixties and she goes, this is what 185 pounds looks like. And she had herself in a sports bra and a pair of little shorts, and she's look at this, look at yourself. Honestly, you're not fat, you're not obese.
It's not crazy. You don't look.
Would you be willing? Would you be willing? Would you be willing? If you might be willing, you might say, I look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Now, what comes up around that? That's the reframe. Look at me. Oh, I wish I were thinner. And the reframe is look at me. I'm in the process of really learning to love and appreciate myself and the more I s.
Ben, just 17 seconds doing that. Wow. I love myself a little bit more. I love myself a little bit more. I think that I look a little bit better and because I think, and I feel a little bit better, I can wear this. I can go get this one, and guess what? It doesn't fucking matter what size I wear. I don't care what the size on the label says.
This feels good on my body and I like what I see, and I like how I feel. In your naked body when you're wearing something as it comes to your intelligence. I've said a story before, I don't know if I've said it here on my podcast. I worked with a client one time, a long time ago who had three PhDs to prove to her father.
She was smart and she still didn't believe it at the point that she came to me. She used to feel that. and as she came to the realizations that releasing, pleasing her dad. And learning to please herself. So remember I've talked about it. Everybody's got that first 10 years of their life where all that programming comes from elsewhere.
All that shit isn't yours. All that negative shit isn't yours. And the lovely people that gave that to us, guess what? They had the first 10 years of their life where shit was said to them. And those people had the first 10 years of their life. And so it's just all this. Stuff that just keeps rehashing rehashing.
And those 1500 words that go through your mind every freaking minute, so many of those are negative. But guess what? So what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how many negative thoughts that you think it matters, the more that you add in the vibration and saying, I'm in the process of learning to love and appreciate myself.
I'm in the process of believing that I am the most fuck. Magical person on the planet. Now here's what happens is it doesn't just come from your brain. It doesn't just come from your throat. Your heart gets engaged. Your gut gets engaged. Anybody ever felt, I can feel it in my gut? Anybody ever found yourself saying something like that?
So you can feel it in your gut and you feel it in your heart? And you know what that feels like because we've all had a heart melting moment on. And so what might it be like, so you get curious and you ask these questions, what might it be like to engage my heart in with the words that I'm using when I look at myself in the mirror?
And engage with my heart and look and really sit there and go, wow, wouldn't it be incredible if I really could love and appreciate myself and that I really knew what that felt like. Yeah, and before long, because it doesn't take long. Remember, 17 seconds. A thought held for 17 seconds. We discussed this a few episodes ago.
A thought held for 17 seconds attracts another thought for 17 seconds. You hold that for 17 seconds, you get another one. Now you've held it three times, 17 seconds. Grab another one that's a fourth. You hella for 68 seconds. Guess what? Thought held for 68 seconds, not just a thought, the vibration of that thought, because it doesn't have to be the same thought.
It attracts a thought of a similar vibration. and now it's not 68 seconds. Oh, I felt better about myself for 68 seconds. It compounds at 17 times, 17 times, 17 times 17, which is 23.2 hours in your day. 23.2 hours of that high vibrational feeling from just that 68 seconds. So imagine as you're practicing.
Art of Self-talk. Maybe you're taking a couple of lines out of Lizzo, one of Liz O's songs. as she's talking about her body and she's talking about her arms and she's talking about her face and she's talking about her smile. You can take those and play with them. Wow. I wonder what it feels like to really love the shape of my lips.
I wonder how do juicy it can be to just. Grab the perfect shade of lipstick and put it on there and feel great because this is you. This is you feeling great. And it doesn't matter if you're naked. It doesn't matter if you don't wear, if you don't wear makeup. It doesn't matter what you are wearing. This is who you are.
And then as if by magic does the very vibration of your mouth smiling, more of your eyes glowing, more of you standing taller. 17 seconds at a fucking time. 17 seconds. 17 seconds. 17 seconds. 17 seconds. This is the art of self-talk. This is the art of you, and this is how you unfuck your life faster.
Gentler than ever before, and we get to keep showing up. It is up to us. It is up to all of us to assist in reframing each other our dear, gorgeous Friends. With ourselves, most definitely. With the young men and women that either we are raising or that are around us. We celebrate. We celebrate.
It is so important to celebrate, to acknowledge you. Just that simple, that high five that. Yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, I'm fucking magnificent. Oh, I'm fucking gorgeous. That's what it is. That's how you unfuck your life. That's how you change your self-talk. It is that attitude that you be, that energy that you. Bring that softness and compassion that you apply to yourself and subconsciously, unconsciously, consciously, it flows from you.
It can't not. And that's how we change the world. And people ask me, Lisa, what is it that you really want to do in your life? What is it? What is it? The legacy that you leave? And I always tell them, I always say, no matter what show that I'm on, and I don't say it enough on this one, is that I don't, I live for every.
Thinking powerfully about believing in themselves and never saying another fucking negative thing about themselves again, ever. No more negative thoughts, no more negative feelings about ourselves. Wow. because you're beautiful. You are bodacious, you're fit, firm, and fabulous. You are all of those things and anyone that you admire and they have a quality.
I love hearing. Recordings am Maya Angelo reading some of her books. Some of her poems are just in a conversation when she was being interviewed. Even the speech that she gave at President Clinton's inaugural address. I absolutely love the writings of. Sar, the color and the energy and the vibration just leap from the page and they're just so much fun.
I love the Timber of Morgan Freeman's voice, as he just said. He's spoken as God how and how many different times, and that is who you are, whomever you choose to be. Unfucking your. The art of self-talk. Oh my goodness, you are fabulous and I wanna know what your new self-talk is. And so till next time, this is Lucy, drop me a line, leave me a message and let me know your self-talk a.
I'll see you soon. Bye-bye.
