Episode Transcript
The Sassy Mindset: Overcoming Self-Doubt and Using Your Voice
Hello everybody. This is Lisa your host today on another episode of unfuck your life and embrace your awesomeness. And today we're going to talk about a topic that I really, really love How many Seriously. Now, what topics don't. I love. It's the sassy mindset. We hear a lot about mindset.
and we have to have a focused mindset. a power mindset. We have to have a, to do, to do, to do a goal-oriented mindset, a money mindset this is your life mindset and all of that is absolutely freaking fabulous. It's absolutely fucking fabulous. And so it got me thinking about.
The sassy mindset, overcoming self-doubt And using your voice. A lot of people, that's a big phrase out there finding your voice, and you've got a voice, you have a voice let's play with it. What might it be like for the next 15, 20 minutes or so? That we play with your gorgeous voice. We play with your wonder. spirit. We bring out more of that chutzpah and that sassiness That is you. So before we get down and dirty with it, thank you for all of you that have liked the podcast that have sent me a lot of notes and questions and have already gotten your copy of the adventurous guidebook. And if you haven't had a chance yet, please go ahead follow this podcast. I'd really appreciate it. This is Lisa.
Unfuck your life. Embrace your awesomeness. And so one key factor in embrace your awesomeness is your sass is the sassy nature. Now when you were a little kid. And when I was a little kid and when lots of us were little kids and of the things that every client of mine that I have ever had throughout time over the last 20 years has said,
You know what I was accused of sass And sass meant, oh, you were misbehaving. Oh, you were speaking your mind. Oh, you had a thought that was different from those who were around you. It was different than what your parents wanted you to do or what the minister wanted you to do or authority figures that there were around. You wanted you to do.
And there's that sass. And so sassiness became, oh, you're sassy. It became like a bad thing. So many years ago. I worked in, an it shop. I was a project manager. And my friend Dooley used to say to her dog all the time, she had a giant Newfoundland, her name was a, she was just a fabulous dog.
Anyway, she just used to go. You are being sassy. And her boyfriend at the time. I remember he was saying that. Whenever I've heard the word sassy before. It was always a bad thing, but when Julie says it, it makes it sound kind of fun. And so I looked up, what is the definition of sassy? And you're never gonna believe it. The definition of sassy, I looked online. and Of course the Internet's always right. I looked online, it says lively, bold, and full spirit.
And cheeky. and that's where that thought is. Oh, you're being, you are being sassy because you're too lively. You're too bold you're too. Outspoken you're too out there and we want you to be quiet. We want you to do anything other than what you're doing right now. Now, lots of times, this is what's said to us with the best of intention, however,
The sassy mindset is the mindset that you're lively, your bull. There isn't a single fucking goddamn thing that you can't do there. Isn't a single piece of clothing that is totally wrong for you. There is, it's. All bets are off. There are no fucking limits. It is your potential, your potential, your limitless potential that's there before you. So it's Hmm. Imagine that you were going down aisle at the grocery store and you're like, Hmm, what do I feel like today? Ah, today I think I'll take some fabulous oranges Oh, they smell so fabulous.
Oh, look at these avocados. Oh, this meat today, looks really good. And you just, you're just guided by, by, by what feels right to you. What looks right to you? What smells right to you? And what your body. Is hungry for. And you know what your spirit is hungry for, because remember in the definition of SASA talks about your spirit. Your spirit is hungry for you.
your authenticness, your uniqueness, your quirkiness, your weirdness, your solemness, your calmness, all the different aspects. That are you, there is not one word that can define you other than the word that encompasses everything, because that is what you are. You are everything. And so now let's talk about how you do this through your voice.
Oh, about 10 years ago, I discovered that there were voice coaches now. I knew that we all took music in school and we had lots of music teachers and I studied, I played the flute for many years and so I had, instructors on that, What I didn't really know. Is that there are people that can really work with you. And at first they only worked with singers. They worked with singers to be able to bring out those qualities in their voice.
I happened to be in a seminar that Roger Love was running and it was just a small intimate room. There were only about 30 of us or so in the room. And he was talking about our voice. And he was talking about how you use your voice and speak from in your voice. If you wanna talk way up here, if you bring it down a little bit more, you're Really digging through the basement and really bringing out that what you are saying. See. Don't hold back anymore is what it is because too often we have not dreamed big enough. We haven't played big enough. We haven't been audacious enough. We haven't been quiet enough. We haven't been whatever enough.
Because. There's a part of us, if you're a people pleaser or any of the other pleasers that are out there, whether you use sex as your weapon, whether you use people pleasing as you're a weapon, whether you use martyrdom as you're a weapon. And when I say weapon, what I really mean is that's the archetype, that's the archetype that you learn how to survive, how to make it in this world.
And there's absolutely nothing fucking wrong with that. Unless.
It's what guides you all the time. And you don't have the freedom. Using your voice. How many times can I think of that? I would have said something different. And I always would hear my mom in my head. And maybe this was just me, not any of you guys. And she'd say, oh, you have to do this and you have to do this and you have to do this and you have to do this.
I had to take care of everybody else. And I had to think about what other people And parts of me would just, that was my assassins as is ruble. Fuck this. I'm going to bed. And And yeah, all these years later, that power to say no, or the power to say yes or whatever it is sometimes gets lost.
So now in your voice, there is a depth, there's a concreteness. There is an authenticity. That runs. From your gut to your heart, out your voice and shines through eyes. And that is the place. Where a singer. Is really singing the song. To the audience in the way that each member of that audience feel as if that song.
Is being sung directly to them. Or even is being sung directly by them.
And that's not just for some people. It's not just some people that get that. It's everybody that gets that you already have everything you need. You already have it. in whatever way that you speak and play with your voice, Play, making it really high play. bringing it down a little bit. Why don't you add a little softness and sensuality To it. Like some of those DJ women that are night radio and how they just.
Ooh, sensuality. cuz sensuality sassiness. it is your right. You've got this gorgeous, beautiful body. I don't care what you fucking weigh. I don't care if you weigh 90 pounds. I don't care if you weigh 760 pounds, it doesn't matter. This body is yours. This voice is yours. This life is yours. This SAS is yours. What does lively. Bold full spirit and cheeky. Look like to you. For me a lot of it is how I dress. I'm also an artist. I love playing with paint now. I'm not a fine artist. If you look at my walls, you're not, if you look at my paintings, you're not gonna say, oh my goodness. It's like the perfect, this and the perfect that no, there's lots of color and there's lots of everything.
And sometimes there's lots of charcoal and sometimes it. big, hot mess. And yet when it all comes together, it may not really look like a hand, but yet it is a hand and there's just that energy that goes with it. And then I look at these other. Pieces of art. I found last week, I've always wanted a top hat, a man's top hat. They usually come in black and they're what they wear, especially in England. When they're having some super kind of event and you always see the Men and their top hats and tails. And I just thought the top, hat was so cool. I had this copy of this magazine called what women create, and there's this gorgeous woman on the cover and she's got a top hat on and I'm like, you know what?
It's not just a hat for a man. I can wear them too. .And last weekend. I found not quite a really big, tall top hat, a medium size top hat. And I didn't find it in black. Oh, I found three of them and one was red and one was blue. gorgeous shade of Aqua. And the other was this. Emerald vibrant green.
And I'm just like, oh, I just love hats. I love wearing them on my head. I love. Putting them in various places in my house, hanging them on the walls and creating more art out of those hats, clothing and jewelry and every, everything becomes art. And so many people. were just like so confused. Sometimes somebody would walk up to me and they're like, wow, I love your spirit. I love your color. This is just fantastic. And there's one gorgeous woman. she said to Tell me about your outfit. And I'm just like, whoa, look at that.
And as your voice, has looked at her? And spoke authentically from my gut, I am an artist. My body is a canvas.
So, what does your liveliness look like? What are the clothes that you would like to wear when you flip through catalogs? What do you like to look at when you're at the store and you see all those gorgeous clothes? What is it? That's important to you.
My friend the other day called me a feminist. And I said, wow never, ever considered myself to be any kind of a feminist. I said, unless. I chose to define feminist as a person who simply inclusively stands for the rights and the power of absolutely fucking everyone. And he said, yeah, that's exactly it.
So you don't have to find your voice. You need to use your voice. And practice in front of the mirror. Oh, my goodness. I read an article from Mary about Mary J Blige and she said, oh, she was riddled with self-doubt. So many famous singers. We hear this about them as we watch their bio biopics, since we, as we read their biographies, as we watched.
Movies that have been are attribute to them. And that they struggled with it and Mary J Lies, Oh my gosh. She's so fucking gorgeous. And she said she would look in the mirror and she would look in her eyes and she would utilize her voice. And she would say, hello, gorgeous and speak with herself. Speak to herself, speak to the soul within herself because that's what comes out of your voice.
Is the soul of you. The spirit of you, the essence of you. That's what comes through. Now. Not everybody's gonna like it. And you might have more than one person that comes up to you. And they'll say the equivalent of, tell me about your outfit. Or they'll say. She who dresses in the dark? Or, what were you thinking or a belief that you have, and there's 10 million people that say oh, that's wrong because, because, because, because.
That's out It is, it is. And there's lots of ways that we have of working with that. And the very first way. is your voice. From your gut to your heart, to your throat coming out of your. Eyes. Hello, gorgeous.
Practice that right now. And say it. Hello? Gorgeous. Hello? Gorgeous. Hello? Gorgeous. Hello, gorgeous. Play with your voice, play with the sassiness of it. This sassy mindset is the mindset that you are unbelievable. You were amazing. You are gorgeous. And you can do and have and achieve. Anything you set your mind to.
Because you use everything, you have your sparkle, your sassiness, your voice. And that weaves through. That's your connection with your spirit, your liveliness, your boldness, your audaciousness, your cheek. Think about A lot of things that have been accomplished in the world today. you know what I mean? Was upon the time.
Going to the moon. Rovers on Mars, It's just all kinds of stuff. Wifi wasn't even computers, personal computers. weren't even a thing. When I was a little kid, my grandparents were born. My grandfather was born at the end of the 19th century. I just imagine.
Cars and automobiles. The once upon a time, those things were crazy. They were outlandish. They were weird. They were just like, you must be crazy thinking that kind of shit. Yeah, absolutely. Because it is the crazy ones. It is the ones that have the gumption to believe in themselves.
And We weren't taught this. Can you believe it? We weren't taught this. All of the little kids we weren't taught this. And that's okay. Because whether you are six or two. Or 957 or 102. You can claim this for yourself now. Come along for the ride and play imagine just how different it is because.
What happens is at first as you're talking and so you're saying hello, gorgeous. There was a point in my life I never ever, I couldn't have looked myself in the eyes in the mirror. I, I just sat there and the words would've come out like hello, gorgeous. Or, they wouldn't have been.
Authentic. They wouldn't have sounded true. And a friend of mine when she started practicing her mantra as when she started practicing her affirmations. Her husband would actually sit there and say things like, oh, That sounds really weird. He would just have sarcasm that was just drooling.
And he didn't mean any harm. Sorta. Because, that's the way everyone does it. Just because that's the way so many of them do it. Doesn't make it right.
And imagine the day. Not so very long from now, when you do look at yourself in the mirror, maybe as soon as right now, maybe as soon as next week. Whatever it matters. Not. Hello, gorgeous.
And you find that. One day.
It's just there.
And then the way that people look at you or the way that they talk with you. Sometimes it takes you back. To feeling a little bit disconcerted and other times. It takes you to a smile. And next. Swipe left. Like the woman who said to me, Tell me about your outfit. Oh, my goodness. I found this really cool mustard color, one piece jumper, and I just love it. And I got this gorgeous blue top hat.
To wear with it. And I've got this fabulous orange lipstick. And I went out shopping on the flu Vogue site and I found these marvelous blue shoes that just look funky, like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. And I love it.
It doesn't matter. If others get you. we spend a lot of our lives. Doing things either to please others or to. Go completely. The other end of the spectrum the other end of the pendulum to. Shock everybody. And, you know, what. Somewhere in there. You find because polarizing can be great.
Taking care of a person can be great.
Nurturing. Can be great.
I read this article about Chris Farley, who died many years ago. Very talented comedian. And the woman who was talking about him said, That if he had just an ounce of the compassion and the care and the nurture. For himself. That he gave to other people. He never would've died at such a young, early age.
And, as I look at that a about myself, Is I look at that about so many other people. That if we had just an ounce of what we're so willing. To give others. Just an ounce. And see, that's the difference when you claim who you are is that you don't need a fuck ton of it. Because it's so powerful and it's so magical that belief in yourself, and then you're attracting other people that are like that. Come join the tribe, come join the adventurous tribe.
Because, you know, we're here to, we're here to yes. And you, we're here to support you. We're here to share love. We're here to support each other's wild, wacky. Amazing. Lives. That's what it's all about. And that is your sassy mindset. Use voice play with your voice. Go up, go down, go up, go down. all Around Deeper, higher, Do it. Play with your voice. Play with your voice, play with your voice. Use your voice. All those crazy wacky wonderful, amazing ideas and adventures that you dream about. And maybe some of them you've shared with others. And they've poo-pooed you because you know what? We all got a long fucking list.
Of everybody who's trounced on our dreams. Ugh. How much more fun is it to have some people that support Especially you, how amazing would that be? Oh, so fricking amazing. So freaking amazing. Ugh. could you imagine. So if you haven't done so already. Go ahead out to what Is it called? book with lisa.me. Book with lisa.me and schedule a discovery session with me, let's chat. Let's talk about your voice. Let's talk about your magic because of course, you know, it's a 15 minute free call and I just adore you. I wanna know what it is that. I can do to shine a spotlight on you. What others can do.
How you become so sa.
Yeah, That you shine that spotlight so big. That it illuminates. The world. Can you imagine? Can you just imagine. And then you shine your light and she shines her light and she shines her light. And all of a sudden, what was once covered with darkness? is filled with light. And love and compassion and sassiness, lively.
bold, cheeky, that is your spirit. Yes. That's the world that I love to play in. That's the world that we all came to play in. So until next time. You fabulous. Adventurous is this is Lisa. And I will see you soon. Bye-bye.
