Episode Transcript
Unleashing Your Sassy Side and Embracing Your Unique Personality
Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Unfuck Your Life. This is the podcast that celebrates you unapologetically embracing your awesome life. Ugh. Can you just imagine? It gives me the shivers. Every time that I hear that, I just see so many people going, yeah, I'm awesome. Yeah, you're awesome. Yeah, we're awesome.
And not just using words. Being that going out there, that they're doing things out there in life, whether, they are doing volunteer work, whether they're in entrepreneurship, whether they're creating something
just absolutely magical. Maybe they're doing art, maybe doing music. Maybe they're out there at their regular job and them just being, them showing up in the world.
It just, there's this cool huge vibration. It totally changes.
Workplaces. It totally changes the atmosphere just absolutely everywhere. And that's sassiness, that's embracing that authenticity and your personality is yours. A lot of us have some similar traits and things like that.
However, no two of us are exactly the same. We all have a little bit of something, a little extra, something a little more magical, something a little. Maybe there's a little more patience here. Maybe there's a little more calmness there. Maybe there's a little more color there. Maybe you know that's sprinkled all over.
Maybe you love to knit. Maybe you love to cook. Maybe you love to just stare at the stare out at a river and just. Dream and imagine, and there's this calm peacefulness about you. There's just so many things. Maybe you really love playing with kids. Maybe you really love playing with dogs or with cats or with all different kinds of other animals.
Maybe you love going on adventure. Maybe your adventures are.
Jumping out of airplanes, maybe your adventures are bringing family members together, creating family bonds, creating connections, any and everything. There's no holds. Barr. I love it when people geek out. I just love watching and listening to people who are geeking out, whatever they geek out on.
Whether they're talking about, I had a I met this guy one time who loved mystery science theater. Thousand and he used to, oh my goodness. He just, he knew every geeked out thing that there ever was about that show. And you know what, he was so totally fascinating because he just loved it so much.
He was really tuned into that and hear that and this person was like, oh, geeking out about music. Knew absolutely. Everything about some of the very best blues musicians, about some of the very best heavy metal musicians, and it's just wow, there's just so much life and world out there and we need you.
We need you.
So how does unleashing your sassiness and embracing your unique personality, what does that look like, feel like? I talk a lot about sass. I've got, I wrote a book a couple of years ago called Your Artie Sexy, get Your Sassy Back,
because that's what it's all about. And in the last episode I talked about the definition of sassy, which is bold, which is lively, which is.
Spirit, which is cheeky, and anything else that you can just add on to that. And so what does illusion your sass look like?
Let's identify first off, something that's unique about you, something that's unique about your personality. So just, if you are able to right now, or, do this in your head or, get out a pen and paper or even, take some digital notes on your phone or iPad and, just write a couple of things down.
Like what are the top three things that someone says about you that like, they don't like, like maybe you're too bossy or, maybe you're too loud or, I don't know, maybe they just think that you're too kind and generous or just what are three things that people say that are, that sound a little bit negative or a backhand and compliment about you?
And so just write those down. Okay? Just play with me for a minute. Continue to play. Now, on another sheet of paper or on the backside, or make another column, write three of the things that you hear most often.
You're just so much, you're just such joy to be around. Wow. You are so trusted. People feel they can confide in you.
Ah, they just love your generosity, your spirit. They love your sparkle. They love your smile. They just love how you're really willing to just, push up your sleeves and really get down and dirty in the work or just every, just anything and everything.
And now, so just for a moment, I want you to take a look at those three negative things that have been written.
One of the things that I used to hear about, especially on this reclaiming your confidence journey, was there were. People who accused me of being arrogant. and I was like, shocked. And I was like, appalled. And I'm like, what? Are you kidding me? What could you what? Do you know what I do? You know what I've been through?
Do you know my story? How dare you? I told my husband, he wasn't my husband yet. We were dating at that time, and he chuckled and he said, how angry would you be? if I agreed with them.
And I said, what? And he did the same thing all over again and he chuckled again. And he said, because anyone who starts on the entrepreneurial field or dares to believe something different, they're all accused of being arrogant.
So now what if arrogant, right next to arrogant, what if you wrote the word confident?
Yes. I took a pause there, so just write the word confident and now what is the next word that's on there? See, what we're doing is we're doing a pivot. We're doing a word, a phrase, a meaning. That's really the same thing with a twist.
What is the next thing that someone accuses you of? Oh, you're a doormat. Everybody just walks all over you.
Okay.
Because runs upon a time, that's what my mother. Used to say about me and she hasn't said it in a long time now, however, a couple of years ago she was still saying it.
She used to be such a doormat and so what if doormat was knowing what people wanted and assisting them with that?
Knowing what people wanted and assisting them with that. There's always a pivot to anything that is said because there's no nothing negative, there's nothing positive. It's how you feel about this and the very. First way of doing this is by owning it, and then I will tell you where I learned this from many years ago.
Oh, my goodness. I'm not even sure how many years ago I went to go see the Vagina Monologues. So have you guys ever seen that? If you haven't seen a play or read the book of the Vagina Monologues, absolutely positively. You must go see it. Talk about amazing women embracing their fucking awesomeness, and I can't tell you exactly what you're going to see in here because apparently, it's always different.
When I went, there were three women on the stage. The first time there were six women on the stage. The second time there were, my friends said, oh my goodness, there were 10 women on the stage. And they do all kinds of things and they have these very real, authentic conversations. And you laugh and you cry and you feel confronted and you feel empowered and this is the part of the dialogue that I listened to that really switched for me how powerful it is to claim something, especially what you don't like and the word that she spoke with. And right now, I'm having a little flashback that I'm not quite sure how of your gonna take this.
So to just breathe through it and bear with me because we're gonna get to the other side. She said, what men always say about women to take their power away, to make them feel small and inferior and insignificant, and to rob them of their power is, she said the word is c u n T.
And then she looked at all of us and she said, and I want you to say it with me.
Cunt
and then she would say it again,
cunt.
And then she would say it again, cunt. And there's the first time I was there and this happened, there was like 900 women in the audience. A couple of men, but 900 women.
And first of all, some of us are like confronted, myself included, and we're like, oh, we don't use that word.
Story. Men win. There they go. They get to take your power because they used a word that made you. Something that wasn't empowering.
And so now as you embrace a word that you don't like in this time, it could be bossy, it could be doormat; it could be arrogant.
It could be selfish, any of those words, when you embrace it, which means that you say it. Any pause, any release, anything that doesn't go with it.
It's really easy when you're in an audience of a bunch of other women and some of them are really believing it, and some of them are trying to get there, and some of them are really fighting it.
And you have those powerful women on stage that are saying this word and they're talking to you as the powerful fucking creator, fabulous woman
that you are. That you are and then she would say it again. She would say and she would say,
And then all of us are saying, because once you really claim a word, you don't have to own it.
You don't have to say Once you really own it, it takes all of the power. Someone was trying. Force upon you. It takes it out. It's gone.
It just is. And I don't care if it takes one time, if it takes a thousand times, if it takes a million times, it doesn't matter because we are embracing. Your unique personality.
So I shared that story about how powerful these words are and how I learned how I developed this exercise, really. So take another word that someone says about you. Maybe they call you a slut. Maybe they call you people pleaser. Maybe they call you, stupid.
Just because you claim a word doesn't mean you own it. It doesn't mean you become it. It doesn't mean that's an identifier for you.
Claiming the word takes all of the brute force power that someone was using against you when they called you stupid. When they called you an idiot. I remember my father just very clearly, I remember my father saying to me that, Lisa, do you know he was fixing, he was fixing the doorknob on a door?
And that's crucial to this part of the statement. He goes, do you know how smart you. He said, you are just like this doorknob because it doesn't know anything if you don't, if you don't turn it, it can't do anything. It just sits there and he goes, he said to me, if you can't read it in a book, you don't know anything.
You have no common sense. And I don't even know why he attacked. Be this way. He just did. And so I sat there. What do you think? I thought, oh gee, now, okay, I guess learning is a bad thing. So now you have to learn in in, in secret. Now, I had to learn, I didn't, nobody teach, taught me this stuff when I was little and that's not the truth of it at all. There is nothing stupid about you. There is nothing ignorant about you. And I know I've had those thoughts too about other people because hello, it's out there everywhere. Just because it's out there everywhere doesn't mean that it's you. It certainly doesn't mean that it's true.
So what if you had the word smart, or what if you had the word you were just able to create out of anything? What if you just had some chutzpah?
What if you just had this clarity?
So look at the word and look at, huh?
What would I change that word into a powerful word for me? You know what really helps looking out there in the source?
I do it all the time. I go out there and look at the source. Look for words that mean the same, or words that are ANMs. And you know what? It's amazing how many words that we think mean the same thing, which really have a totally different vibe because the words that are used are not what's important the words. It's the vibration.
It's how you feel about it, whether it's neutral, whether it's empowering, because just imagine that someone could say all kinds of things to you and not be affected by it and do you know what really happens when you choose. That word, that meaning that emotion, that mental illness, that, physical-ness what it means for you. This is not just the first step. This is just not the beginning. This is you claiming you are weird. Wonderful.
Wonderful. Fabulous. Gorgeous generous self. You don't look at day over. Gorgeous as fuck you are so awesomely. Fabulous. I love how you speak your mind.
Breathe. That in. The story of you is the story of you. It's the story. You choose the narrative you claim and trust me. Oh my fucking God. Trust me. I spent so many years working on this and don't just believe me, try for yourself, start this with an open mind, play with this. As you go into that word stupid, as you go into that word, arrogant, as you go into that word fat, as you go into whatever those goddamn fucking words are that people have used to claim to you that they did it so many times.
And now that you believe that about yourself and gorgeous. It's not true. It never has been true. It's not, you. That first step. Oh, you're always late. Oh, you always procrastinate. You choose when you arrive, you show up.
As you. In your wonderful. Sassy suit. That is your skin in your, for me, it's a least a suit for you. It's a fairy suit, a Jennie suit, a Suzy suit, whatever your name is, whatever your alter eco is. Is you. Breathe that in all the way down to your toes. Breathe it in all through your body. This is you claiming you and it's not just the first step. It is.
It is you, it's the difference? It's the difference in you claiming, embracing your wonderful wackiness, the adventure risk that you are, and always have been. Because you're still here. Nothing took you out. This is simply you reclaiming, checking in, turning around to see how fucking far you've come up that mountain, because believe me, gorgeous beings.
You are pretty far fucking up that mountain. It's safe. Turn around. Take a look. Acknowledge that road behind you, that you've traversed with all the wonderful moments, all of the shitty things. All of the things that maybe you wish you could have done better. All of the things you would love to live again.
Breathe it in. And see where you are taller. And you are stronger. Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually soulfully fit firm and fabulous. This is you. This is you. This is you.
I love that. So many of the young singers today, I call them young singers. They're probably all in their thirties now. Anyway, how they really take a no nonsense turn in their song, writing. They're not afraid of the words that they use, whether it be a Taylor swift or Demi Lovato or sweetie or Lizzo and any of the other wonderful, wonderful, wonderful singers out there. I love the messages in their songs, the pure poetry that they write and they sing from their heart and the bottom of qf their guts as they pull those words out. And we identify with them. And each one of them is what's so fucking wrong about you being confident. I didn't say perfect. I didn't say nicey, nicey, nicey. I didn't say sugar and spice and everything. Nice. I said you confident in your weird wacky wonderful way.
Because you are, you. You are you, you are, you. Dr. Seuss is one of my very, very favorite authors of all time. And he has books about the wonderfulness. Of being you. There are songs out there about the wonderfulness of being you. You've clawed through a lot of pain. There's probably still some pain.
In the future. However, it's never the same, like it was because it's, you. Claiming your weird wacky, wonderful self. No excuses. Unapologetically this. Is MI. This is me. This is me. This is me. This is you unapologetically. And embracing your wonderful, weird wacky. Awesome life. Yes. That's what I said, same kind of weird as me. Same kind of weird as you. Same kind of weird as us. How fucking fabulous is that?
That is the magic of you. That is the wonderful nearness of you and you gorgeous as fuck. I love to know your story. I love to get to know you and everything that you see. Or may have seen in the past as like a shortcoming or something like that. Fallacy a flaw. Bull fucking shit. Bull fucking shit.
You've come really far on that mountain, regardless if you're ten twenty, a hundred and sixty two and you are stronger. More capable, more fucking awesome. Because of the journey you have chosen. And it was so glad that I get a chance to know you. So glad.
It's coming. The adventurous is life.
Look for it.
It's coming. It's you. And so until next time, this is Lisa. You don't look a fucking day over gorgeous as fuck. And stay tuned. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.
